A Great Moment in Mad Men (Re)Writing

I've been out of the loop for the past couple of weeks working on a rewrite for Northbridge (a murder mystery set on Lake Superior). The biggest problem I was dealing with was how to connect the beginning of the script's climax--the point where the protagonist finally puts the pieces together--to fit the plot we have so intricately put together.

Our goal with the scene was to be able to tell it without overkill exposition ("You did it because you felt this way!"), and hopefully get the point across without any dialogue at all (the "ah ha!" where the lady next to you will say, "Oh, shit, didn't see that one coming.")

But I couldn't find a solution... until I re-read the script. A visual in one our first scenes is a metaphor for the secrets being kept in this small town, and I realized that this visual could be applied to the "ah-ha!" moment that leads us to the climax. It's a classic "call back" to what the audience has already seen, but adds another layer (hopefully) to the overall impact of the moment.

To get into specifics (which I've failed at so far), the first episode of Mad Men Season 4 does a brilliant job at this:

After her Sugarberry Ham PR stunt blows up, Peggy shows up at Don's door with her "finance" by her side. Peggy explains her predicament, Don scolds her, and then her "finance" interjects. Don puts him down, Peggy stands up for him, and Don says (paraphrasing), "You shouldn't have brought him if you didn't want to get him involved."

A great moment. A great Don Draper line.

Later in the episode, Don brings his kids back to Betty's (his) house and waits for her to come home with her new husband Henry. When she shows up an hour late, Don gives Betty the option of talking with him alone. She declines, and asks Henry to stay. And while none of the characters say it, this creates a corollary: Betty knows Don and knows she is getting Henry involved. Betty, like Peggy, will not take Don on by her lonesome.

My best guess is that this corollary came about during the Mad Men writers meetings. Matt Weiner is a great writer, but it is from my experience that these great moments (epiphanies!) are realized after the first draft is out there. Weiner has an excellent staff and I bet they helped fill in the beats-- connect as much as you can in your script-- what you have in the beginning will let you call back what you have already laid out.

But it could be he had everything planned out. Never underestimate a man with a contract.

Creating corollaries? Why is this good? Callbacks. Just like jokes, plot points that repeat themselves in different ways will hook your audience and remind them why they love your story.

The Black Hole in the Kitchen

Here it is, the full short film version of "The Black Hole in the Kitchen." Kudos to Elliot for being such a fine director, and to the actors and crew-- it's always amazing to have talented folks make my words into something better than they have any right to become.

I hope you viewers enjoy the melodrama...

The Black Hole in the Kitchen from Elliot Eustis on Vimeo.

Mike McLaughlin talks about his greatness

Check out this interview with Mike McLaughlin, superb director of two of my short films.

I have no doubt he will kill at the Much Music Awards. Watch his nominated video below. I like it.

Cole at the Leos

Congratulations to Chad Willett for picking up the Leo Award for Best Supporting Actor last Saturday. Read about the festivities here.

Also, big ups to Cole's 'b' camera operator Steven Deneault whose short film "The Gray Matter" won a whole boatload of awards.

Thank you to the whole Cole family for being so damn awesome.

Adventures with Zissou on my mind

I have added a link to my email on the left hand side of this little blogspot. Please let me know if you know of any place in Seattle to get good chicken wings. I searched all of the restaurant reviews on the interweb and the top result was a resounding "none." You can also contact me if you have questions about screenwriting or anything else that might be on your mind.

Off to the Leo Awards tonight and then script meetings tomorrow... In the words of the great Steve Zissou, "This is an adventure."

Cole Nominated for 10 Leos

The Leo Award (British Columbia's film and TV awards) have given Cole 10 nominations! Congratulations to Richard, Kandyse, Rebecca, Sonja, Chad, Carl, Mark, Clinton, Irene, Jason, Kimani & Dylan for your nominations... And congratulations to all of us for the Best Picture nomination. Woot!

Read list of Leo nominees here.

The Black Hole in the Kitchen

Four years ago I wrote a short script called 'The Black Hole in the Kitchen" that was performed at the Cold Reading Series in Vancouver. It was the first time in my life that something I had written was performed by other people-- the rush of seeing it live made me realize that being a real writer might actually be possible.

Elliot Eustis, my friend since we were 8 years old (ask us about our first short we filmed when we were 14: "Huntin' City Folk"), just handed me the finished DVD for "The Black Hole in the Kitchen" and I couldn't be more proud. Look for it soon at a film festival near you.